How Vector Marketing ruined my life

I am poor. I'm so broke I can't even pay attention, not unlike most college students at Georgia State. Many of my meals are referred to as "prostitute dinners," by friends or "whatever I can scrounge up from the vending machine." I am constantly looking for an opportunity to get a job, or make some fast money without interfering with my 18-credit course load.

So last semester when I walked into my Modern Europe class, I was excited to find a message inviting me to, "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!"

As excitement faded into skepticism, I pondered whether or not I could really "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!" wondering what the catch was. Would I be willing to kill someone for $15.50 an hour? As we dove into the French Revolution, I cast these thoughts aside and concentrated on the fall of the Bastille. If I could "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!" I could eat cake too, Marie!

Suddenly from every corner of campus I was tormented by the idea that I really could "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!" Every public place on campus was covered in flyers, and three out of four classes possessed advertisements for this amazing opportunity. If it's up in classrooms … it must be approved by the University, right? "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!" continued to mock me as I opened my wallet to recount the $1.26 I had to my name. Succumbing to the cries of my empty stomach, I tore the web address off the bottom of the flyer.

When I arrived at home later that evening, I visited the Web site, www.workforstudents.com. According to the website, a company called Vector Marketing knew I was just the right person for this mystery job without even requesting my name! Strangely enough, there was no indication of what the job was, but it requested that I fill out an application and online interview.

Someone from Vector Marketing would be contacting me shortly. YES! I began dreaming of ways to spend the wheel-barrels full of money that would start rolling in after I began to "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!" France for spring break? Or perhaps I could actually afford to purchase my books from the bookstore this year rather than Half.com. Little did I know that after this moment, my life would never again be the same.

The next day, Amy from Vector Marketing called at 9am sharp. She left a bubbly message and was anxious that I call her back. In the meantime, I spread the news of my good fortune to get friends in on this fantastic opportunity. It turned out that Vector Marketing was actually a front for a door-to-door knife selling company requiring its salespeople to spend $75 up front for a kit to sell their knives. Some my friends had made it through the first part of one of the daylong sessions, but made a run for it during the break.

Money up front? Selling door-to-door? My dreams were dashed.

When I arrived at home, I called Amy at Vector Marketing, and told her I was not interested and apologized for wasting her time. You see, I have never been good with the door-to-door thing. I was that girl in elementary school whose parents were forced to buy her entire box of chocolate so that your class would still get to go to the water park. Too much face time I guess.

Unfortunately, Amy just would not take no for an answer.

For the next three weeks Amy and a countless number of other Vector Marketing representatives, called indicating that they wanted to set up an interview. They called morning noon and night even after I insisted that I did not want to "Make $15.50 an Hour Without Telemarketing!" Same chipper voices, same scripts, and same mindless banter.

It was then I became a prisoner in my own home. I couldn't answer the phone in fear that yet another Vector Marketing Agent was calling to schedule an interview. I could not retrieve my messages, as I had to wade through seven three-minute diatribes about exciting opportunities they had in store for me. Suddenly the telephone became my enemy and my captor.

So let this be a warning to all of you … unless you were the #1 cookie seller in your troop, don't bother applying.

But this also makes me to wonder how the University will use us to make money next. The bookstore bags are crammed full of advertising, new billboards appear in virtually every high traffic area. And it's not like this is being used to keep our tuition down. Perhaps the next time your professor pauses for a drink of water during a lecture, that commercial break will be brought to you by Coca-Cola.